5.84 Miles in 56 Minutes

Finally a run worth writing about! I didn't even bother yesterday because I was so fed up with being cranky and negative. However, I'm back in the groove!

The marathon is next Sunday (what is that, 9 days away - clearly my even my counting was off!) and I'm as nervous as anything. It's coming whether I like it or not... so I guess I better just like it!

That's really all I have to say.

12 Days

AHHHHH!!! I could scream right now! I read my ING Marathon Handbook before bed last night and kept having dreams that I woke up late and missed the start! Then I had another dream I made it to the start line but when I got to the locker room at the end (there will be 0 locker rooms, mind you) I couldn't remember if I finished the race or not!

THEN I woke up late and tired this morning. I tried to mentally prepare myself for my morning run but just felt the weight of making it to work on time which is stupid because I'm always at least 20 minutes early for work.

Here's the reality. The run was terrible. I felt like I had cinder blocks for legs and as if my lungs were working against me. I only made it 2.89 miles and that is just NOT acceptable. I guess I need a new approach. Running is my haven, my positive experience! Running is the calming moment of my day when I don't have to think about anyone - but I can't help thinking about EVERYONE and EVERYTHING now. I just want to scream, SHUT UP!

There was one good thing this morning - so I'll focus on this and stop complaining (its not very becoming). When I entered the park I heard a Mocking Bird call. Usually I associate this with the spring and yet it is currently the fall. It was a comforting reminder of my favorite fact of life: this too shall pass. This season will lead into the next and then the next after that. Time keeps moving and thank God it does. Nothing is forever - a bad run, a bad day (or month in my case), a bad decision. Nothing. This too shall pass.

So, here's to tomorrow! Here's to tomorrow's run being better than today! Onward and upward - because this chick is done swirling downward.

Marathon Countdown: 13 Days

Sunday was a terrible run. Saturday was supposed to be my 10 miler, but instead I opted to lounge around until 10am before heading to Lambertville. I went to bed early and awoke Sunday morning tired, unmotivated, and unfocused. I did put in 7 miles along the river but they were the longest 7 miles of my life and I wondered if I would make it to church on time and alive.

Today was slightly different. I awoke with a somewhat clear mind and fairly sore for some reason, but ready. As I stretched, prepped my gatorade for return, and laced up my running shoes I felt like an athlete and couldn't wait to hit the road.

I ran exactly 3 miles in 29 minutes. Not terrible, but not the best for having a marathon in a few weeks. Regardless - I did it.

For the next two weeks I am committing myself to writing every day about running. I will run Tuesday through Sunday (10/26 - 10/31) this week and Tuesday through Friday (11/2 - 11/5) next week. I am COMMITTING myself to something because it seems I've been having a problem with that lately. I am COMMITTING myself to a schedule and to eating right and to not drinking. I am COMMITTING myself to putting this run first and everything else second.

Here's the deal. I have been having a really hard time figuring out my life path, lately and the fact of the matter is when I'm running it is just me. No texting. No emails. No Facebook. Nothing except for the thoughts in my head. Most of the time as I wander through this city I wonder what the hell I'm doing here? I completely lose who I am and where I've come from. But when I run - much like when I cook - I'm transported.

I'm not fast and I'll never win a race, but to be back in this athletic mindset is amazing. I would love to have a coach and perhaps someday I will take that next step when I've settled down. For now, however, I just need my will, my sneaks, and the road (or trail) before me.

Yoga, An Idea, and the Beating of My Heart

Last night I went to sleep with every intention of waking up for an hour jog. I've been good about running and feeling great in prep for the marathon. However, something kept me inside this morning. Looking back to about an hour ago, I needed to not go fast this morning, but to take it slow.

I rose out of bed in silence and darkness. Peace, actually. Rolled out my yoga mat, lifted the curtain to let in the dim light, and proceeded to notice my breath and stretch. At first, it was a bit difficult to really get into the motions. I was going through the poses mindfully, but with an attitude. Eventually that shook away and left just me and God on the mat. It was a very beautiful and inspiring experience. Then something happened.

While I was preparing for yoga-mudra (the yogic seal at the end of your practice) a thought popped into my head and resonated. Simplicity. Usually you dedicate your daily routine to something - peace, a person, light, God, etc - at the beginning of your practice. But as if it were a message from above the idea, not the word, simplicity filled my entire being.

As I came up from yoga-mudra, I bowed my head to pray and another amazing thing happened. There, in the silence of my little apartment in Brooklyn, NY I sat on the floor. There, in the silence of the morning I could hear the beating of my own heart and feel its vibrations throughout my body. My breath inflated and deflated my chest cavity changing the tone and rhythms of my heart as if waves lapsing the shore. I sat and listened and filled myself with the moment's harmony.

Simplicity. Huh.

And now, I am here sitting with you waiting for my tea water to boil. I can't help but to think this idea of simplicity may be part of the "answer" or "path" I've been searching for. We are bogged daily with consumption and wants when all we really need is here within us.

I do not need a fancy pair of shoes to go for a run. I need a will. I do not need a fancy gym to exercise. I need creativity. I do not need 500 channels of television. I need other activities. There are a million examples on a moment to moment basis and they are distractions. Distractions from what is really important and what is really necessary.

We take ourselves and each other for granted so often we fool ourselves into believing the next gadget will make life more simple and convenient. I'm afraid, however, convenience is a path toward laziness and dependence. I am guilty of this, we all are. But I'm going to change something. I'm going to change something small every day in my life to turn this around.

Aaaaaah.

Honey Toast and Warm Apple Cider

This morning I woke up slightly uneasy. I'm not really sure why as this weekend was very relaxing. Yesterday I made watercress soup while crocheting and listening to jazz. When the soup was ready I curled up on my couch with a bowl of the good stuff and watched You've Got Mail with a few glasses of chardonnay. Hardly a stressful way to spend a Sunday evening.

In order to regain some of that peaceful charm from the day before I placed two hardy slices of bread under the broiler while I warmed apple cider on the stove top. I do not have a toaster, nor do I have a microwave. It's really nice, actually, only using my oven. I've never used one piece of equipment so much. Sometimes it can be a bit to wait for, but in the end it makes me slow down and anticipate the deliciousness before me!

So I drizzled honey over the toast and poured the cider into a mug my mother bought for me. As I licked the honey spoon clean I couldn't help but to think of my grandmother and how she would give us a teaspoon of honey before bed when we were little.

I miss her so very much and I don't doubt that is where some of this loneliness is coming from. I guess I'm still grieving and the only way to connect to her again is through the food she used to make. So here is the short list of dishes to make:

1. Homemade Pasta - I have her pasta roller. In the box there is a Christmas Card from my Great Grandmother, Gammy.

2. Italian Love Cake - We are throwing a birthday party for my mom and aunt (they are twins) and I'll be making this!

3. Roasted Chicken

4. String Bean Casserole - I kind of created my own version of this.

One Day

Today is the day I can clear out my fridge and pack it with new, fresh, yummy and exciting ingredients! I have every ounce of my being dedicated to grabbing coffee and then heading to the West Side Market for some good old grocery shopping.

It feels like forever since I've been able to spend a day cooking. Who knows, perhaps I'll even treat myself to some nice new Tupperware for freezing sauces and soups! Work is piling up and the weeks are jam packed with early mornings and late nights. I'm tired of falling into a food rut and need those bright, invigorating flavors back to warm the soul and keep the mind on the ball.

Last night I babysat Hilary and Theo. Hilary and I carved a large pumpkin and Theo separated the seeds. We toasted the seeds with olive oil and salt then combined them with popcorn and treated with cinnamon and sugar for a tasty movie treat!

I love hanging out with these kids. They are so sweet and get so excited with our little food experiments. Popcorn is so versatile and really allows them to get creative. Theo asked me to add some dried cranberries to his which completely fixed whatever sweet/savory craving he was having!

So, Sunday. It's a beautiful fall day here in New York City and I suspect I'll purchase a mum or two, a few pumpkins, and the best of the gourd, leafy green, and root harvest!

Time to get to it!!! Ciao!

A Study That Supports My Theory!!

Well, FINALLY I have some media to share with you!! This short article is from my METRO paper this morning:

Come on, taste the noise

A study published in Food Quality and Experience says high levels of background noise can affect people's palates - perhaps explaining why airline passengers often complain that food on board is bland. The research blames the roar of aircraft engines.

Dr. Andy Woods of Unilever headed an experiment wherein volunteers were blindfolded and given a range of foods to taste while being exposed to different levels of "white noise."

The volunteers had less acute sensations of sweetness or saltiness the louder the noise became, said Woods.

Now, I'm going to look into Food Quality and Experience. Sounds like a publication I can get behind!! But staying on topic, this is why we get so much more out of a meal when it is not being consumed on the go.

The snap of string beans

Friday night I hurried to Whole Foods in Union Square to pick up roughly five pounds of string beans, bacon, onions, parsnips, fennel, carrots, and two roasting pans. I ended up beyond exhausted by the time I got home and only had enough energy for cleaning and chopping the carrots and parsnips while an Amy's mac and cheese heated in the oven. Once those were done, I plopped in front of the TV to watch an interview with Angela Lansbury (sp?) at the Paley Center on PBS. Then I passed out.

Why do I share this? Because I still had SO much work to do in preparing my contribution to the Claeys' family Oktoberfest the next day.

I woke up Saturday fairly well rested, threw in the laundry and prepped my mis en place for the "German" style string beans my mom swore was a family recipe (though looking back I never remember these at the table). Regardless, I rinsed the beans and almost fretted snapping the ends off of the overflowing bowl. Once I got started, however, I didn't want to stop.

The sound of their snap and the fragrance which was released brought me back to when we all sat around the table in Grandmom's kitchen snapping beans. I closed my eyes, held onto the memory for as long as I could, whispered a little prayer, and then continued on with the dish.

As the fennel, carrots, and parsnips roasted with some apple cider in the over, the bacon rendered it's fat for the onions I was about to caramelize in it. The beans were flash boiled so to remain their firmness. Once all was finished, the beans and onions were mixed together, the roasted veggies were spread around the side, and the crispy bacon crumbled on top.

I don't know if this was a family recipe, but it may be now!

Cookbooks

Though I find it very difficult to follow directions, I love cookbooks. I have the same problem with gardening. I'll read each step, collect tid-bits of information, and then make up the rest.

The funny thing to me, however, is that I've gotten into collecting cookbooks. Particularly cookbooks which reflect how we ate in "Old America".

When Mike and I were in Hunterdon and Bucks County for that crazy week in June, we visited a farmers stand to pick up cheese, fruit, and other treats for a picnic. At the checkout line I noticed an old, plastic ring bound cookbook entitled Bucks Cooks: The Artists' County. Below the title was a typical Victorian drawing with little, but much detail and was followed by the tease A Gourmet's Guide to Estimable Comestibles with Pictures. Seriously though, for $10 how could I pass this up!

We went on our picnic and as he played photographer and skipped rocks on the river, I laid back on an old rock and flipped through the pages finding recipes from Martha Washington on. It was a treasure of insight.

Next, when my mother and I traveled to the Mother Earth News Fair, I new I had to walk away with some culinary tangible. We came across an Amish Country stand who sold bird houses and other out door trinkets made of wood, some quilts, and then a table filled with knick knacks. On this table was my prize: The Esh Family Cookbook.

When I finally returned to Brooklyn a few nights later, I laid in bed and read through this families food history. The recipes here were quite different from the wholesome and of-the-earth meals of my latter book, but they told a story. And at the end of the day, don't we all just want to prepare and share a dish which tells us a story and invites us to create our own?