Two nights ago I was waitressing at a book launch and had a rush of loneliness. It's a feeling reminiscent of my restaurant days which I actually used to love. My favorite was working on Sunday nights. We played jazz over the sound system, the ambiance was low and romantic. Couples and families swooned over deliciously rich meals, wine, and fine conversation. I remember watching them as I brought and cleared their plates and thought, "someday, I'll have that". Whatever "that" was and is.
So you may be wondering, "what the hell does this have to do with the NYC ING Marathon?". A lot, actually. Tomorrow I feel like I'm crossing a line. I will no longer be a non-marathoner, but a marathoner. It's like a right of passage into a community I've always admired. I can feel lonely all I want because when I'm on the road or trail nothing matters but me and the course ahead of me.
Today I met Bart Yasso at the Running Expo. I had just read about him and while we talked briefly about Lambertville, he signed my Runner's World Magazine. Tonight, while coming home from my pasta dinner with running friends, it hit me that he ran for loneliness too! A man who was always shunned by his father - he ran and pushed his body to ease the pain.
We are not so far off, Bart and I. While my parents always supported me, they won't be here tomorrow. Actually, none of my family will be here. Friends, yes, and thank God for them. But family, no, they have their own things going on (kids, church, etc).
So here I am. In less that 12 hours from now I'll be on my way to Staten Island. In less than 24 hours, I'll be a marathoner. I'm sure this sounds like a pitiful post, but I promise you it is not. I'm actually very content and very happy and very excited about this experience. Now, off to write my dedication miles!
Stand strong, Lady Liberty, stand strong.
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